The modern all pervasive corporation

Disclaimer: This post is just food for thought. I don't have any plans to start a revolution. I am quite comfortable in my corporate environment and see the merits far outweigh the concerns. Also, this post is not intended to undermine those passionate achievers, entrepreneurs, leaders etc. who have caused a positive shift in human life. This post is for the larger majority of us who think we make a difference but in reality just add up to the numbers

The pandemic has got me thinking at levels I have not done in the past. Questioning the purpose of our existence, our actions. The fact that I read a bit of Harari's seminal work Sapiens in this period has also contributed to the thinking. 

There is no doubt that the human race is at its most comfortable stage in its history. In terms of human suffering due to war, food shortage, poverty etc. we have made great progress as a collective. In terms of general comfort whether its toilets, running water, accessibility, a roof on our head, gadgets to make everyday life easier; the current human race has it all and things will only get better. There are challenges no doubt, of unequal distribution of wealth and resources, poverty, lack of freedom in pockets but all these have seen a reduction in last 100 years.

In my view, there are 3 large contributors to our current state. The first 2 are fairly obvious. The third needs some discussion

1.The industrial and scientific revolution and the mass appreciation of role of education and science in making human life far more easier 

2. The role of democracy in allowing free thought, freedom to pursue your interests 

3. The role of free markets and the emergence of the role of large corporations in making everything an economic decision. 

The role of corporations in making the world more efficient and self-sufficient cannot be understated. Many areas get resolved when corporations come in. Large projects are executed, capacities created, bottlenecks resolved. Structural cost reduction, Structural demand generation (breakfast cereals??) etc. I have seen firsthand how the mandatory CSR spend requirement of the government in recent years has seen so much more professionalism and structural work being done in this space. Even the space of sustainability is driven by corporates seeing it to be of long term value. Electric cars are being made more efficient and economical by the day. Pharma companies continue to research in making more effective and cost effective drugs. Telecom is continuously trying to reduce cost, improve access. Start-ups are trying to identify gaps in the market and plug them with unique solutions.  Every corporate is working on making itself larger, more productive, more cost efficient, more responsible. All this makes the world a better place to live. Many of us have created tremendous value through our corporations. Henry Ford, Dhirubhai Ambani, Steve Jobs and many more such legends have achieved greatness through the route of corporations.

How has this modern day corporation evolved. It was not a concept that existed 500 years ago. Yet today, many of these are larger than the economies of some of the countries of the world. And who knows, 50 years hence, people may be known by the corporation they represent rather than their country or race or religion. 

But this is not the objective of my post. It was just context.

What is a corporation. A collection of people, driven by a common objective, creating a pool of assets and resources. People come and go, the objective remains, the resources increase. How has the modern day corporation managed to be so pervasive. An average human spends one third of his productive life dedicated to the service of a corporation. If you add time spent travelling, time spend preparing to become worthy (education, technical trainings etc.) to this, it may seem that the purpose of modern day life has become to be worthy of serving a corporation. Makes me wonder if we have conquered the hardships using corporations or converted hardships from the earlier ones to now serving corporations. Has the purpose of humans become serving corporations?

While at a whole, every organisation is striving for excellence, at the micro level it is doing this by creating a very high sense of purpose for its employees. Terms like vision, engagement, value creation, customer centricity and many more have got coined to capture, justify and rationalise everything we do in there. Banal pursuits become matters of life and death. High stress environments are created.  The vision and purpose of the organisation and serving its customers becomes the purpose of existence of all its employees. I may be working for a cigarette manufacturer and killing my customer, but i have to make sure every single packet is made, supplied and sold as quickly, efficiently and creatively as if everyone's life and not death depends on it. 

In some sense, isn't a modern corporation similar to a religious cult? Here we worship the customer, the shareholders profit and the corporations vision. Isn't it curtailing our freedom to do as we please? Doesn't it limit our actions, regiment us to think, talk and act in a particular manner? 

Case in point is Messi. One of the greatest footballers ever, richest sportsperson of our times, loved by millions for the joy he has given to them with his skill. Stuck in a contract to play for a club he doesn't want to. If he opts out, his career is stuck in a legal battle where the only people who win are the legal corporations on both sides. With all his riches and fame, he is a slave to his situation due to the modern corporation.

The corporation has given us all an opportunity to create impact which we may never have done as individuals. However, it may still merit a thought if this justifies it becoming a purpose of existence. 

Fundamentally, the purpose of all our existence is the same, the pursuit of happiness. How to achieve happiness may differ for each individual. In varying degrees, all of us have different things that make us happy. Some may get happy creating wealth, some by travelling, some teaching, some watching their children grow, some pursuing arts, some sports. However, the corporation regiments us. It tunes our thinking to make happiness equal to reward, and hence performance. Performance to meet the organisations vision, targets, KPIs. Of course this has caused tremendous human progress in last 200 years. It has created tremendous value, sustainable solutions for many problems, advanced technology. All of us have reaped the benefits of corporations in action. But then how do we balance the overriding influence the corporation has put on our worth and on our behaviour and our priorities?

Maybe, its time to for us to stop worshipping corporations and stop being corporate slaves. Or maybe, that time hasn't come yet. Lets just live for the weekend until then. 

Of Marriages

And they keep falling like nine pins. Its carnage, its a bloodbath I tell you. 

Finally, even the last bastion of bachelorhood has fallen... the person whose exploits as a serial wedding attender raised some sniggers, whose life of gay abandon raised some envy and whose parents had almost lost hope in ever knowing his whereabouts. Yes ladies and gentlemen, yours truly is taking the plunge this calendar year. However that is not the objective of this blog.

The objective of this blog is to talk about 2 bastions, that have been swaying and tipping and leaning and trying to fall for a while now. 2 bastions, that are spoken of in reverence, that are the epitomes of bachelorhood, if there is was any such thing. The 2 bastions of bachelorhood of Asian Paints, Pradeep Vedula 'Shastry' and Sabyasachi 'Sabhya' Ghosh.

Former roommates, its hard to tell which one has jinxed the others endeavors of getting hitched. However, one of the two has definitely got the shaadi dev (marriage gods or as they say in Sabhya's town, shaadi deb) pissed. For not only have the 2 been struggling to find their life partner (despite a very passionate effort in this regard), their effects are also rubbing in on their younger and hence less eligible roommates. Infact, legend goes that, at one time, anyone who shared a room with Shastry (including women ;) ) got married within 6 months. However, its been so long that noone even remembers the last time that happened.

Lets first talk about the 100 kg, lean, mean, soccerball kicking machine, Sabhya. At 31, the gentle giant is quite young by bengali arranged marriage standards. However, in the his opinion, he is ready and has been ready since the last 4 years. It seemed to us that he indicated his readiness by buying a fridge. Imagine, which bachelor would waste his hard earned money on a fridge, especially in his nomadic days of house shifting every 6-8 months. Many a moons have passed since Sabhya bought his fridge. It has been the only constant in his life since. Roommates have come and gone, cities, houses and work roles have changed. Even many a potential prospects have come and gone. The fridge remains Sabhya's best companion. It is also his most beloved companion. Sabhya has deep passionate affection for his food and that automatically translates into a lusting for his fridge. However, as materialistic as his reasons may be, I think its time Sabhya commits himself to his fridge. He should get married to it. Self and Shastry have also determined a few strong arguments in favour... a la 10 reasons why Sabhya should marry his refrigerator... here goes

1. It is the most imp thing in his life 
2. He has been found manyatimes craving for his fridge in the middle of the night 
3. Sometimes he dreams of his fridge
4. If stranded on a deserted island, the only thing he wants for company is his fridge
5. Given a choice, he would love to sleep with his fridge beside him  
6. Coz his fridge would say things that women say about men.. like
1. "He can never get his hands off me"
2. "He is always licking and biting"
3. "and drooling at the sight of me"
4. "sometimes i feel i am nothing but a piece of furniture in the room"
7. And finally, Sabhya’s fridge will always live in fear of a new, younger, more voluminous fridge coming into his life…

So that one being settled, we now come to the 2nd object of this blog. Shastry, the man who can eat like an elephant and still look like a rat (imagine how much he must excrete). In his case, there is actually not much to be said. His is a man of modest expectations. All he wants is a extremely fair, fantastic looking, very hawt, totally wife material by nature, awesome cook or all rice dishes, constant food providing, intellectually and verbosely brilliant, Telugu brahmin girl from a good family who will dote on him. Oh, and she should not be from his gothram and the kundalis must match. He is after all a man of simple taste and balanced expectations. We wonder why our tall, dark and handsome friend hasn't found her yet. Well, wonders never cease. However, I have a solution. A la Aishwarya Rai.

The best solution for Shastry is to marry a tree. 

After that, all his bad luck will change and befall on the girl who he then finds. So if anyone knows a nice good Telugu tree from a good family and different gothram, do suggest. A food giving tree preferred. If not for your love for Shastry, then for the love of humanity, and his poor bachelor roommates.

 

The politics of development

Starting with the standard disclaimers... below are my views based on my half baked research, knowledge and gut feel. Hopefully there are no factual gaps. If you wish to disagree, please do it in a civil manner.

Bihar goes to polls next week and a lot of us are keenly watching these elections. The opinion that the Nitish government has performed is almost unanimous. Will this help them win a 2nd term, we have to see. One might say it was easier for Nitish, considering that the state was rock bottom in the development index. However, I would differ. The culture of the state towards lack of government ownership to development was amazing; even faking news acknowledges this. Getting this state machinery moving is some task. My personal opinion is that not only will the JD-U win, it will win handsomely. And this is in no measure due to the BJP. And despite fighting alone, Congress will gain seats. This is the beginning of the end of Lalu.

However, my opinions aside, if JD-U indeed does better and Lalu poorly, it will be an epic result in Indian democracy. It will firmly establish that the politics of development works and Indian polity has matured, right from Gujarat to Bihar. And that my friends is the best news one can hear. As the shrewd Indian politician will realise that no longer can he be reelected on vote bank politics, or by dividing the people on caste and religion or by making smart coalitions. Instead, all he needs to do is some work and bring some development.

The trend started with Delhi and Gujarat, both states where the incumbent has taken a 3rd term recently. Delhi is case in point. It was a BJP state in early 90s, much before the NDA was formed. However, since 1998 its been Congress all the way. In the last assembly, Shiela Dixit won 42 of the 70 odd seats, no mean feat for 2 time incumbent, in an urban and bipolar state, where the opposition is strong. Clearly she is riding the metro wave. I will not be very surprised if she gets a 4th term too. A lot of work has happened in the CWG and corruption allegations apart, the people seem happy with the government.

Modi may have won his 2nd term (he had inherited an incumbent government already) due to his politics of religion, but no one can deny his next victory to be a result of the development the state has seen under him. A lot of people who have been to Gujarat in last 2-3 years, swear by the highways, the power situation, the business environment, the lack of bureaucratic hassles etc. A lot of industry is enthusiastically moving to Gujarat. No denying that the opposition in this (yet another) bipolar state is weak, but that's again something Modi can take credit for.

Even Naveen Patnaik's second term, despite breaking off with the BJP, stinks (for want of a better word) of a state voting back a government that worked.

The evidence is too stark and wide ranging for any astute politician to miss. I hope it has made some impact already. It's debatable as to weather we are already seeing this in the policies of some state governments (TN and Haryana are examples I can hazard). However, I so wish I am right on this one. Maybe the time has come for the politics of development in the Indian democracy. Quite a refreshing change that would be, right?

My generation

I am a youth of the 21st century
I only see what's in my face

I have a shot attention span
And love the media for manipulating this

I have opinions on all issues,
as under thought and under researched as they may be
After all Ignorance is bliss

And who has time after PS3

I believe in presentation over substance
after all its so easy to judge it
who will dig the fact when all one does
Is applaud and go home and forget

I believe online petitions n good intentions change the world
since they are so convenient to do

Its better than cribbing from my armchair
which also i love to do

I generally take out my frustration on innocent call center execs
and any other meek around
And believe consumption is the solution
To everything that's sad and unsound

I am the youth of the 21st century
there is so much I wish to do
but then, all I can do is write this poem
because I Suck, honestly I do!

The Zandu Balm Conundrum

Recently a song from the movie Dabaang is making waves. However, many people are confused about a particular line in the song. It goes like this

 'Munni Badnam hui, darling tere liye

Mein Zandu Balm hui, darling tere liye'

A lot of people are asking the question as to what does the 2nd line mean. While it may seem to be an illogical line, added to build rhyme (and probably controversy), I believe that this is one of the finest examples of poetry in recent times. If you don't believe me, here I have tried to give a few interpretations to the question "What does, 'Mein Zandu Balm Hui' mean?" Clearly, these are only a few that my meager intellectual faculties could conjure up. A more evolved analysis could lead to a few more interpretations to this immensely deep concept

Mein Zandu Balm Hui can be interpreted at various levels

1. At the literal level, the poet (that's mallika arora khan) wants to metamorphize into an ointment for her beau
2. At the figurative level, the poet wishes cure to cure all pains of her beau like an ointment would
3. At the socioeconomic level, it again shows the power to the free markets... the harried person seeks a cure for all his pains and has it ready in the light of a dancing hot poet for some cash... demand-supply at work
4. At the psychological level, this speaks of the poets desire to go to any lengths to impress a special someone, probably reflective of a deprived childhood or parenting issues
5. At the medicinal level, it eulogizes the amazing healing properties of the Zandu Balm
6. At the theosophical level, it again brings to fore the power of faith. Faith in Zandu Balm is a cure for all pains, a la faith in the almighty.

So as you can see, this line is very deep poetry which could have many connotations. One should not dismiss it as cheap, footage inducing lyrics alone. Next time you hear the song, give it some more respect and admire the depth of the poets statements. And do remember this analysis of mine!

morning glory

morning brings hope, morning beings optimism
morning brings bad breadth, and all things in it

morning brings light, morning brings clarity
morning ushers a new day to wake up and fight away

morning gets the cock crowing, morning gets the birds chirping
morning gets the rag pickers hustling, morning gets the railway platforms bustling

morning gets me bloging, and some people jogging
why oh why does the morning come, cant we just let the nightmare run!

the ones I will not punch

for the uninitiated, please refer to the earlier 2 posts in the topic

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=339305695976
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=400257920976

Current times are very frustrating. There are so many one wants to punch real hard in the face. However, this being Ramadan, the month of abstinence, patience and most importantly forgiveness, I will speak about the one I really want to, but will not punch in the face hard

1. Our hot favourite, Suresh Kalmadi, the most famous beard on this side of the Suez... not for his recent commonwealth misadventures, no sir, nor for his 14 years of ruining the IOA... but for his wonderful organisation Sai Service, that has serviced my car well for almost 4 years now. Just for that Mr Kalmadi, you are spared a punch.

2. Amar Singh, gaali ka kutta, na ghar ka na ghat ka, from being king maker in UP to a no takers politician suddenly realising his thakur roots, I pity his sad life, and hence will not punch him.

3. Arnab Goswami: Yes yes, he is that screeching lady in the 9 pm news that my father loves watching, much to mine and moms irritation. Yes, he has taken English news to the depths of Hindi news. Yes he has made a non entity like Suhel Seth into an expert of the highest order. However, I forgive him, since he is from Assam and i have found most people from the North East of a very pleasant disposition. So for his region, he survives.

4. Mamta Bannerjee: Why give her yet another opportunity to blame the left. I dont like those guys enough. Besides I am scared that her new found maoist friends may come after me. Momtadi, you may continue to ruin the railways and the social fabric of Bengal with your single point obsession of becoming the CM, I will not punch you.

5. Mayawati: Not for her spineless politics, not for all her statues, but for the fact that if I punch her, it may get constituted as atrocity against backward caste and violence against women (while she may be a disgrace to both)... thence

a few new definitions

1. bottleneckomania (n): the uncanny ability of an otherwise not so bright mumbai driver to identify the narrowest part of the road to park his car in, thereby creating a beautiful bottleneck

2. hourglassophelia (n): the irritating habit of some jokers of destroying the beautiful work done above by parking their car bang opposite there by creating an hour glass tube


3. shibu sorened (v): what happens when ones best laid plans of checkmating family and taking a bigger role go so wrong that one has to also sacrifice their current posts

any resemblence to any current politician is genuine and purely intentional

4. gadkari (v): the ability to act humble and bow down much lower than your girth can sustain in order to survive as the president of a fraction ridden party

5. Shijoitis (n): the ability to analyse the most trivial of topics and with a minimum 1000 word summary that can scare off the most patient reader

6. Bawagiri (n): the habit of publicizing every small event in life to make it appear as the days breaking news with the sole intention of grabbing footage
Alternate definition
Bawagiri (n): the irritating habit of nagging all and sundry into joining in on ones very ambitious weekend plans and giving them loads of grief on any response other than yes