When you’re 40 and you know it, write a blog!

 

I remember when I turned 29 and proudly proclaimed ‘28 till I die. what an awesome year it has been!’ Well, no such proclamations today when i turn 40. 40 is indeed 40. But that’s a good thing. 

It’s just the right time to reflect back on life and how it has turned out for me.

20s - Exuberance

As I look back at my life, the 20s gave me some unique experiences. Cracking CAT and the 2 years at IIM remain one of the most life-altering and memorable events in my life. Many more milestones that shaped my future followed. My career defining first (and thus far only) job at Asian Paints, my first airline travel, my first international travel, my first car, my first f1 race, my first house, my first promotion. 20s was good. Money in the bank, no major responsibilities. I discovered the joys of trekking and fell in love with the Sahyadri’s. I started running and ran/walked my first half marathon. Only regret was a lack of companion to share it with. The 20s addressed this concern as well towards the end as I met Shabnam my future life partner and companion when I was 29 and we got married a few weeks before I turned 30. So, in toto, 20s gave me everything I could ask for and I was on top of the world. Thank you 20s!

30s - Stabalisation

The 30s has been a far more humbling and learning experience. First and foremost, I learnt to live with and fell in love with my partner. I realised how 2 people grow to love each other, understand each other, adapt, and adjust to each other’s personalities and become 1 team. Shabnam has shaped me, helped me, improved me, and practically become a part of me in this decade as I have become hers. Our life is interwoven and all our life decisions mutual (including what to binge watch). This was a significant change from the 20s. ‘Me has become We.’

Second, I became a father, once and then again. Being a father of 2 amazing children has made me realise how indeed ‘child is the father of man.’ There is so much I have learnt and so much I have grown due to fatherhood. And I can state the same for Shabnam. Motherhood has made her realise facets of her personality and her capabilities no one knew existed. Parenting has changed our perspective towards the world. I have become more careful with my choices and a bit more patient, although more is desired here. It has also changed the content we consume, the things we bring at home, the people we hang out with etc. most parents would get the drift. My usage of social media reduced, my heroes have shifted from Anurag Kashyap, Sebastian Vettel, Rohail Hyaat, Amit Trivedi to Shabnam Lilani and my kids.

The 30s has also helped me consolidate in other areas. Bought and set up the house we decided to live in; grew in my career and took more risks with my career (a stint in HR) and explored more aspects of my professional capabilities in larger and wider roles; travelled to Europe and the US for the first time; ran more frequently but lesser distances, climbed more mountains (also took Shabnam and the kids), saw more F1 races, became financially stable and secure.

Overall, the 30s has grounded me (lower centre of gravity at constant weight), matured me (with some grey hair) and shaped me (pear shaped for now). Thank you 30s!

40s - Consolidation and Contribution

Now come the 40s, I am officially over the hill. A bit of flab and grey to show for it. The 40s gives me a lot to look forward to and many things still to achieve. I want to declare it here so that while some will happen with time, I can keep pushing myself to achieve others.

1. Parenting – Our kids will grow and become tweens and then teens in this decade. I hear of the challenges and certainly will have a lot to learn, experience and do here to help them become better adults. I look forward to engaging in math and science and sports with my kids. Arts and humanities and life skills will continue to be Shabnam’s forte. 
2. Travel – still so much of the world to see and experience, Covid permitting. There is Sports in Europe (football game, F1 race and tour de France) besides seeing the far east, Australia and many more lovely places all over. 
3. Learn to ride a bike – this remains in my bucket list, and I will achieve this in this decade.
4. As a professional, I take up a new and higher role next month onwards. I wish to start afresh and consolidate into leading a large function. 
5. The most difficult one- I feel that with the basics in place, ‘purpose of life’ need to be a higher focus now. My purpose is to be happy and do things that make me content, proud and gratified and I will focus more on that than run the rat race and swim with the tide and do what is expected of me.  This would include
1. Read and teach – have done some bit in the last decade, need to do more.
2. Contribute – life has got me to a place when I can and should give back more, through both time and money.
3. Stay fit and healthy – Last few years has indeed been a health revolution and I am sure it won’t be a challenge to find avenues as long as I can get my lazy ass move. This decade, I need to swim more (kinder to the knees), play more football, trek more, cycle more, play some squash and eat better.
4. Later in the decade, we may want to calibrate my life choices in terms of the city, career, house and review how we want to plan for our empty nest 50s. 

Looking forward to the 40s with great excitement and anticipation