It's Raining, It's Pouring *

It's official now, something we have been sensing for a while. It's raining babies, and more specifically, the 2nd ones. 

Don't get me wrong, having babies is great, we have two children of our own. One may have as many babies as one wishes, anything from 0 and upward is cool, although it is best if you stop at 2... warna 'Yogi' aa jayenga. What I am alluding to is the sudden realisation for many couples who had stopped at one child to have the second child. The data is quite stark. Couples I know, who had their first child anytime between 2010 and 2019 are suddenly in the queue for their second. 

There are many possible reasons for this. 

Firstly, it could be just coincidence. At our age, most people we know have had their first child a few years ago and it may just be the right gap as per them. However, the numbers and the diversity in gaps is definitely noteworthy. Also, the number of 2nd children in the pipeline for couples who had earlier 'declared their innings' is quite stark.

Second is the most common reason for everything nowadays, 'The Lockdown'. Lockdown has made people realise the value of family. Shabnam tells me examples of long steady couples getting hitched, I have known people change organisations to go closer home. Logically, couples who may have delayed or stopped planning another child for career reasons are re-evaluating their priorities.

The third is a bit more nuanced subset of the second. I know of many examples of couples with a single child struggle through the lockdown to keep them entertained. All this while, us 2 children couples spoke of how the kids kept each other engaged and occupied. I think the single child couples have finally given in and decided to prepare for the next lockdown. 

TLDR: Many couples having second child recently could be a coincidence or one more side effect of the lockdown. 

Whatever the reason, I wish all couples on the parenting journey all the very best. Just remember, when it comes to kids, 1+1=11!

* This article is written in jest. I don't mean to belittle the pandemic or it's struggles or trivialise the enormous decision of having a child. If anyone is offended, my sincere apologies.

Trekking with kids

It's monsoon and as the unlock takes shape, there is a strong urge to head into the Sahyadri's for day treks. Few parents have asked me for kid friendly treks. I thought I would blog it here so that it can be useful for all those who want to take kids for treks.

I have been taking my elder daughter for treks since she was 4 years old. Recently, we introduced our younger daughter (who just turned 4) to a couple of treks. I have also seen some young kids in treks we have gone for. So I can speak with some experience here.

First and foremost, most kids above the age of 4 can trek. As long as the child is 

• reasonably disciplined and will follow instructions, 
• is not a complete home baby and does enjoy physical games and plays outside with his / her friends,
• is a bit flexible with food and will eat outside
• is comfortable with hygiene (will pee in washrooms outside or behind trees), 

the child will have fun on the trek with the parents. Only thing to avoid is a high endurance trek or a trek in intense heat. Monsoon and winters (December -Jan) are the best time. 

Secondly, children are inherently good at trekking. Their body weight distribution and lack of preconceived notions on what they cannot do, and our ability to pull them along, largely compensates for their lack of limb length and lower strength and a slightly lower attention to caution. Parents need to understand this point and not stress on their kids too much. Infact, 8-10 year olds will typically be much more agile on a trek than their parents, especially when going downhill.

Lastly, the only thing to be careful when trekking with kids is to plan better and be better prepared. Good grip footwear, backpack with small water bottle, good and adequate snacks and proper fitting raincoat are absolutely essential for a monsoon trek with kids along with dry clean clothes to change into after. For a winter trek, just remove the raincoat, everything else is constant. Moreover the schedule, when and where to eat breakfast, where to stop for bio break, when and how will lunch be managed becomes important. Travel times are best kept optimum when taking kids along as should things we carry up the mountain. Thus, treks with short drives and good food options at base and near the top become quite attractive.

That being spoken, let me list down a few options which are very amiable to take kids along.

1. Tikona - Located to the east of Pawna lake, this is a nice gentle trek which can be done by beginners and small children. The drive is a bit long from Mumbai (3 hours). But a location of choice for Puneri's.
2. Asherigadh - 100km north of Mumbai, located off the highway, this is a simple and wonderful trek. I have taken beginners and a small group of kids on this trek. There is a wonderful view of the Ahmedabad highway and some lovely ponds on top. Best done in monsoon.
3. Matheran via Dodhani - 50 kms from Mumbai and 10 kms from Panvel is a small village called Dodhani. From here, there is a lovely and simple trail up to sunset point at Matheran. The advantage of this trek is the simplicity, the route and the fact that you reach up in Matheran where all amenities are available.
4. Korigad - Schools take kids for picnic up this trek. It is the most simple trek (climbing stairs) and gives a lovely view of Aamby valley from above. Again, only constrain is longer travel time. Korigad, Tung and Tailbaila are all located near Aamby valley and take 2.5 to 3 hours to reach with the Lonavala traffic to navigate on way back. However, the upside is that there are decent resorts and food options nearby.
5. Tung - Took my kids up this one recently. While we stopped half way, it has a lovely view of the Pawna lake. Some tricky patches for smaller kids but quite easy for 7 year + group.  
6. Tailbaila - This beautiful mountain remains in my bucket list of treks to repeat. It is 2 pinnacles with wedge in between. The pinnacles require expertise and ropes and skill to climb. However, the wedge has a small windy temple which is a lovely place to take kids. 
7. Bhivgad - Most would not have heard of this one. But I took my 4 year old with my favourite trekking group V-Rangers. It is a nice trek and my daughter did it well. Go with someone who knows the route
8. Kothligad - A nice long walk up a twisty mountain trail to reach the base village. From there, it's a short, slightly tricky but completely safe climb. However, easy access to food and water at base and atop makes this one which can be done with kids. Only mountain top I have found (apart from Harishchandragad) where they sell packaged mineral water :(
9. Avachitgad - A bit long with a 3 hour drive on the Goa highway, this trek is simple and the view from top of the Konkan railway makes it quite worth it. Villagers at the base are happy to provide you home cooked meals and give you the complete village experience.
10. Nakhind: This is a small trail ahead of Badlapur about 2 hours from mumbai. It leads to a rock with a hole in the middle, a nice windy place. The trail beyond this may not be suitable for kids and beginners
11. Karnala: Easy to reach, very famous and crowded, this trek can be done by kids. However, it is a bit lengthy and the last patch will require some assistance which should be available in plenty on weekends.
12. 
    Harishchandragad - One of the most famous treks in the Sahyadri's, this mountain has it all atop including caves, temple, pond, food, tents, being the 5th highest point in Maharashtra and the wondrous site called Kokankada. There are many routes up and most require some expertise. However, the route up from Paachnai is very easy and kids can be taken this way. If you want your child to experience living in the elements, staying overnight in caves, putting up a campfire, rising up to see a sunrise, this is definitely the place to go. However, take some expert along. Cannot be planned for a single day trek given the travel time (5+ hours to Paachnai) and the amount of things to see atop.
13. Leaving the best for the last, actually missed these to gems earlier. Sondai and Irshalgad - Located a mouth watering 60 km from Mumbai and just off chowk (near Karjat), these 2 mountains offer a simple climb for the most part and a breathtaking view of the Morbe dam and its lake. I have taken my kids twice up Irshalgad in last 1 month and its been quite fun. Ofcourse, your priority has to be the journey and not the destination as its a bit long all the way up. 

There you go. 13 options with differing levels. There would be more, like Ahupe ghat but I haven't experienced those myself. Do tag other options in the comments for all to refer.

As I end this blog, I would like to reiterate that kids are very comfortable trekking and only need to follow rules and be comfortable with outdoors. More than the kids, it is the parents that need to prepare themselves for a trek. Plan the trek well, set ground rules before starting and do not stress much. Also remember that its the journey and not the destination that matters. So enjoy the trek without having to reach up.

Carry spare clothes (especially in rains), adequate food (carry fruits, chocolates, khakra and such carby stuff, avoid junk like chips), adequate water for the location and weather. Also take enough bags to carry wet and dirty clothes and all the garbage you generate back. Lastly, please remember, trekking in monsoons is messy. If you are not comfortable with your kids getting all mucky and drinking natural water from the cisterns and playing in streams, you may park your trekking plans for the winter. 

When you’re 40 and you know it, write a blog!

 

I remember when I turned 29 and proudly proclaimed ‘28 till I die. what an awesome year it has been!’ Well, no such proclamations today when i turn 40. 40 is indeed 40. But that’s a good thing. 

It’s just the right time to reflect back on life and how it has turned out for me.

20s - Exuberance

As I look back at my life, the 20s gave me some unique experiences. Cracking CAT and the 2 years at IIM remain one of the most life-altering and memorable events in my life. Many more milestones that shaped my future followed. My career defining first (and thus far only) job at Asian Paints, my first airline travel, my first international travel, my first car, my first f1 race, my first house, my first promotion. 20s was good. Money in the bank, no major responsibilities. I discovered the joys of trekking and fell in love with the Sahyadri’s. I started running and ran/walked my first half marathon. Only regret was a lack of companion to share it with. The 20s addressed this concern as well towards the end as I met Shabnam my future life partner and companion when I was 29 and we got married a few weeks before I turned 30. So, in toto, 20s gave me everything I could ask for and I was on top of the world. Thank you 20s!

30s - Stabalisation

The 30s has been a far more humbling and learning experience. First and foremost, I learnt to live with and fell in love with my partner. I realised how 2 people grow to love each other, understand each other, adapt, and adjust to each other’s personalities and become 1 team. Shabnam has shaped me, helped me, improved me, and practically become a part of me in this decade as I have become hers. Our life is interwoven and all our life decisions mutual (including what to binge watch). This was a significant change from the 20s. ‘Me has become We.’

Second, I became a father, once and then again. Being a father of 2 amazing children has made me realise how indeed ‘child is the father of man.’ There is so much I have learnt and so much I have grown due to fatherhood. And I can state the same for Shabnam. Motherhood has made her realise facets of her personality and her capabilities no one knew existed. Parenting has changed our perspective towards the world. I have become more careful with my choices and a bit more patient, although more is desired here. It has also changed the content we consume, the things we bring at home, the people we hang out with etc. most parents would get the drift. My usage of social media reduced, my heroes have shifted from Anurag Kashyap, Sebastian Vettel, Rohail Hyaat, Amit Trivedi to Shabnam Lilani and my kids.

The 30s has also helped me consolidate in other areas. Bought and set up the house we decided to live in; grew in my career and took more risks with my career (a stint in HR) and explored more aspects of my professional capabilities in larger and wider roles; travelled to Europe and the US for the first time; ran more frequently but lesser distances, climbed more mountains (also took Shabnam and the kids), saw more F1 races, became financially stable and secure.

Overall, the 30s has grounded me (lower centre of gravity at constant weight), matured me (with some grey hair) and shaped me (pear shaped for now). Thank you 30s!

40s - Consolidation and Contribution

Now come the 40s, I am officially over the hill. A bit of flab and grey to show for it. The 40s gives me a lot to look forward to and many things still to achieve. I want to declare it here so that while some will happen with time, I can keep pushing myself to achieve others.

1. Parenting – Our kids will grow and become tweens and then teens in this decade. I hear of the challenges and certainly will have a lot to learn, experience and do here to help them become better adults. I look forward to engaging in math and science and sports with my kids. Arts and humanities and life skills will continue to be Shabnam’s forte. 
2. Travel – still so much of the world to see and experience, Covid permitting. There is Sports in Europe (football game, F1 race and tour de France) besides seeing the far east, Australia and many more lovely places all over. 
3. Learn to ride a bike – this remains in my bucket list, and I will achieve this in this decade.
4. As a professional, I take up a new and higher role next month onwards. I wish to start afresh and consolidate into leading a large function. 
5. The most difficult one- I feel that with the basics in place, ‘purpose of life’ need to be a higher focus now. My purpose is to be happy and do things that make me content, proud and gratified and I will focus more on that than run the rat race and swim with the tide and do what is expected of me.  This would include
1. Read and teach – have done some bit in the last decade, need to do more.
2. Contribute – life has got me to a place when I can and should give back more, through both time and money.
3. Stay fit and healthy – Last few years has indeed been a health revolution and I am sure it won’t be a challenge to find avenues as long as I can get my lazy ass move. This decade, I need to swim more (kinder to the knees), play more football, trek more, cycle more, play some squash and eat better.
4. Later in the decade, we may want to calibrate my life choices in terms of the city, career, house and review how we want to plan for our empty nest 50s. 

Looking forward to the 40s with great excitement and anticipation